My Lost Wallet

My Lost Wallet

As hard as it was for me to believe, that I could lose or have it taken, a missing wallet two different times, in less than two years, was more than I could handle; it was such loss! There was the moment of disbelief, sadness, anger, and then a long time in coming, acceptance that one must take the loss, and begin to rebuild all that was lost; there isn’t really a choice. Through the anger, I began to wonder a few things because loss is so much a part of what we are; no one escapes experiencing loss, and yet we all work hard to not lose what we love, and to lose what we do not love – loss invades everyday life; loss is part of each day for each one of us.

What if there is a balance here? One loss cancels another? It could be connected to a bigger picture with pieces that uncover themselves at designated intervals. Or was that an option, the loss? An invisible tap on the shoulder ignored, leaves a space open for loss – does that count the same as loss designated or loss from close-mindedness or loss from others’ actions, all not particularly with dark deed or thinking, purely rather human; just immersed in life so each experiences loss, innocent loss.

What does that leave? Loss yields gain. It has to! The beauty of the universe with a secret design that unravels per one’s own growth. Loss yields gain. One may venture – with loss, a place is left to fill. One disaster avoided in balance – each soul must have a share by virtue of here; loss is a gift. We search for meaning and through the search discover truth far more valuable than the loss.

Does this have to make sense? No! For some, an idea presents itself, for others, another – to take one thought that affects one positively in terms of growth, peace, purpose or existence may even exonerate the loss.

A friend once said, “I don’t know why I am here.” She had loss, deep loss, great loss. There is a balance connected to all things as though a giant scale held the universe of our lives and as we balance back and forth, up and down, we then find something, perhaps truth, and continue so that the balance always seems to exist. Why? If we check all of nature, we see the answer.

Left alone, plant and animal life balance well. Our carelessness may leave the original system imbalanced, but within even that, it, Nature, rebalances itself. So, it may be, in spite of our mess-ups, we feed the balance and allow as all works do, that the giant scale may redistribute accordingly to keep a balance, perhaps not as easily understandable as what had been, but in fact not necessarily visible, or notable; we don’t see, so we don’t react.

Loss is a blessing unknown and so hard to believe, hard to accept, but it is part of the grand design. If it were offered to us, that a specific loss would allow a gain that we wanted, we would all accept. But often loss isn’t always our choice, or what we would choose. Once loss occurs, we focus and work to prevent loss, then we lose too, because our purpose and work become imbalanced. The loss is redirected, not gone, and our choice is left open – to use what we have left for greater love and understanding or to focus on the sadness of the loss. The chances are pretty good that I won’t get my wallet back, and I am working on retrieving new contents to navigate daily life, and with this thinking, I search for a way to find peace in it, then I see that this is not just about a wallet, it is each day, and that all things, are part of loss.

The question remains, does loss happen by virtue of its owners’ actions or by virtue of Universal balance? And, could it be that both may be true in that the Universes has laid the balance of life out in perfect design, unknown in total, but perceived unknowingly and learned in mini.

If we trust in balance, we are free. If we accept loss as a blessing, we are free. Nothing requires more attention than how you love. To love is to accept that great Love’s design, and loss was included in every aspect of choice or chance.

Loss yields gain. Loss allows balance. Acceptance of balance allows gain. Life is good.



~ Linda Jaworski